Problem

My friends told me they cant understand my writing in Chinese, and even worse in English. When I write in Chinese, I easily fall into a kind of introspection. When using English, suffer from vocabulary deficiencies and grammatical false. I told siu fung I will use Chinese again but it seems that I shouldn't give up so easily.

“if you cant write your ps, then you should think again that does further study really possible.”
Hm….This is discouraging me?

Gathering

Girls Talk is always fascinating though this time marriage was the main focus throughout the whole dinner. I quite enjoy it but more the part we talked about books.
Marriage, seems only belong to those who have 9 to 5 working time class in conclude.
Man always disappear with discard leave which finally settled by his girl-f.
Bai-xianyong is agreed to be the one who open the door for us to have a glimpse on sex under the insistence of Tus that Murakami Haruki is a masher.
The gathering forced to end when the restaurant had closed.

Back to struggle with my PS.
"Good Luck to you".
suddenly, you said in a serious tone on the opposite of the square table while I was enjoying my bread and couldn't give back a proper respond..
OK, Thanks.

An awful Tempest mashed the air-
The clouds were gaunt, and few-
A black-as of a Spectre's Clock
Hid Heaven and Earth from view.
The creatures chuckled on the Roofs-
And whistled in the air-
And shock their fists-
And gnash their teeth-
And swung their frenzied hair.
The moring lit- the Birds arose-
The Monster's faded eyes
Turned slowly to his native coast-
And peace-was Paradise!

Emily Dickinson

Reminiscence

"Whenever you feel like critizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."

F.S. Fitzgerald

Intermission

Always late, my words and my works.

At last, it was finished.
Stayed in the dark behind the masking, my memory flows back to the first time when I was standing by in the side stage, waiting for the moment to get on the stage. Seven years have passed. Within these years, many times waited in the dark and couldn’t help myself being nervous. And most of these times (except once), I was wandering, why I still let myself get into such situation instead of sitting comfort in the audience seat. After the lesson, which is a value experience that I treasure in my life, it’s the time for me to sit back as audience, learn , and most important, be supportive.
You need to stop for a while and take a good rest before you can go further.

step one

Last night had the candle meditation to calm down myself before bed.
Quite releasing.

a new start

On the way home after rehearsal, Chiu started his words. “You two, cheer up!” to me and yeeman. “You need to concentrate on what you are doing as you can only do it once. Try to input all you concentration and focus. Get rid of the burden that stuck in you mind. Just let your energy flows.”

Thanks him much for pointed out my problem, in better word, my demerit in such an encouraging way. Yes, you are right. I realized what he had said long ago but forgot soon afterwards. Though I always think that what you think you should do is quite different from what you really do. But realization is so essential that you must find out what you should do before everything happen.

Now I think can set myself a goal in 2005. Concentrate. Calm in mind. Focus on work. Be serious. What simple words that are so hard to achieve. Its more difficult for me specially when I fall into a state of elation which always occurs.

Hm......Slack me.

late again

I try to be patient but just can't tolerant with the tiredness.

Thank you mom for the new curtain.

Trap in English

Actually I am 24 but behave like 16 and worse when speak in English, like 5.

My secondary teacher told me to write dairy in English when I was form 2. I never done this. My colleague is excellent in English. He said started from form 2, he read SCMP everyday and check for dictionary with those words he didn't know. He continued this practice until he can finally grasp all the ideas and meanings in the newspaper. He was an university student that time. And he read large number of English books. That's why he got that sense of English.
You cant chase back the passed time.
Four days remaining.
I am Chinese-oriented guy man.

An hour late for the rehearsal, how can I be like that to waste my fellows' time?
Feeling helpless and a bit frustrate. Create after change, change after create.
What is the end and where is the end? It is not good if it is the date of the performance.

Make it new! Make it English?

Why many HK people like expressing in English? Will it be difference to those who use Chinese? 2004 passed. May I try something new in 2005, for example starting writing with English? Be politically correct, beside spatial challenge, I am English challenge. So sad to tell.
I am haven't got the sense of English like those who haven't got the sense of cooking.
But can I equalize English with cooking.
Will the latter be easier for Siu Fung, so as me?
I don't know how to make French cook but “her France friend” came out of my mouth.
I am sorry about this!